Wayward Faith
by asterisks-who
Summary: Dean prays for Castiel every night but hasn't gotten a response. What he doesn't know is that Castiel has been there the entire time watching over the Winchester boys. He yearns for Dean to see him again but he has to make contact first. From there will determine if he can stay seen.
1. Discarded

Exactly four months had passed and still not a single word from Castiel. Dean was running out of options and the one thing he despised to think about the most was becoming more and more of a possibility. Maybe Castiel really was gone this time. Maybe he was in a better place. Dean dropped to his knees quickly and closed his eyes so tightly that it stung a little. He couldn't convince himself to believe that. It wasn't realistic, not in the world they lived in. Guys like them rarely got happy endings and rarely was a damn understatement. "Hey buddy, it's me again." Dean started, voice soft but broken. He had prayed to Castiel every night since he disappeared after returning from Purgatory yet there was no response. Dean chalked it up to Castiel being busy...but he was starting to believe that he was being ignored.

Dean couldn't explain it but he needed Castiel around. That was his angel after all. Ever since Castiel left he felt like he lost a sense of himself. Functioning was becoming difficult and that put Sam and himself in danger while on the job. Dean's head wasn't in the right place and he honestly needed Castiel in more ways than one.

"Come back. I need to know if you're okay. I need you." He said, expression growing hopeful. This time felt so different to Dean compared to the others. Each night that he prayed he recited his usual questions. Where are you? Can you hear me? Are you hurt? Are you ignoring me? Why won't you answer? You son of a bitch! But tonight, his heart only allowed, "Cas, please..."

It honestly broke his heart to see Dean like that. Castiel wished that he could speak to Dean. He tried; he tried with every fiber of his being. Something happened to him and he wasn't sure what was transpiring. He could touch anything, but nothing could touch or feel him. Nothing could even see him- not even other angels. He couldn't contact heaven and worst of all, he couldn't respond to Dean.

"I'm sorry Dean." He whispered, dropping to his knees in front of the older Winchester. He didn't exactly just disappear after being resurrected from purgatory by Naomi. He just faded and ever since then, he kept close to Dean watching over him and Sam. Castiel in all truths was the reason Sam and Dean survived their last few jobs. He noticed how out of sync they were and he intervened to protect them. They called it luck, but it was their self-appointed guardian watching out for their lives.

He brought his hand up to Dean's face and smiled softly. "I don't know what to do, Dean." He felt so isolated and disengaged and he now understood pain on an entirely new level. The intensity was unbearable and it was a borderline between insanity and despair. No one knew what was happening to him and he needed someone to save him. The only thing good about the situation was that he was able to see firsthand how much Dean really cared. Other than that, he wanted to be visible again.

Dean opened his eyes and touched his cheek as he stared out at the dark field. He figured it was about time to get back to the motel anyway. Sam would be calling soon. With a muffled sigh, he pushed himself up off the ground and headed back to the impala. Starting the car he quickly sped off onto the deserted road. It was late, almost 2am in the morning. He had left three hours ago to clear his head. Sam was doing research on some supernatural activity in the town over from them and looked like he would pass out soon. He himself was trying hard to sleep but couldn't quite get there.

Dean saw some headlights approaching behind him so he checked his rear-view mirror. Usually he didn't see any other cars out on the road so it seemed a bit fishy. The impala suddenly swerved and Dean cursed loudly as he tried to gain back the control of the vehicle. "Dammit, Cas!" He saw Castiel's face in the reflection and pulled over to the side of the road. Once the car was parked he turned and looked in the backseat. There was no one there. "Shit." He sank down in his seat and turned the car off. This was not happening. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. He was having dreams and visions of the angel and it only made him want Castiel back that much more.

"Cas, you're still trying to crash my car and you're not even here…" He laughed and rested his head back on the seat, reminiscing back to the times the angel decided to pop in without warning.

Castiel had moved from the backseat to the passenger's seat. Dean was not seeing things; that was really Castiel in the car. And the light, that was also Castiel. He leaned over some to look in the mirror. He saw himself and he wondered if this was an opportunity to get in touch with Dean. He turned the mirror slightly and watched the man closely. Sadly the Winchester didn't notice the glass moving. He wasn't sure how to get his attention.

Dean entered the motel room about an hour later and went straight to his bed. He stripped his shirt off and kicked off his boots before flopping onto the bed. He sighed heavily and buried his face into the pillow. He still wasn't tired. Glancing over to Sam he saw him sprawled out on the bed and snoring. Well at least one of them was getting a good night's sleep.

Castiel on the other hand was sitting on the empty side of Dean's bed. He wanted stay near him until he was able to see him. This entire isolation ordeal was driving him mad. "Dean." He called out to the older Winchester. He watched as his friend rolled over in the bed and closed his eyes. There was only eerie silence, still no contact.

How long would this actually take?

The next morning Dean woke up to thick air that nearly took his breath away. The heat was blasting. "Geez Sammy, are you freezing or something?" He said groaning as he sat up.

"No man, I'm trying to keep this blood warm."

"Blood?"

"Yeah, I found out what was terrorizing that town. Get this; it's some kind of mini demon." He picked up the long stake that was sitting next to his laptop. "You have to dip this stake in warm animal blood and then we can kill it. Except this creature doesn't have a heart or at least it hasn't been located. So I'm not sure where we actually stake it. That's what I'm working on now."

"So we don't have to exorcise it then?"

"Nope, it doesn't possess anyone so it wouldn't do any good. Apparently they once walked the earth in their own bodies…which were buried under the town."

"Awesome." He rolled out of bed stretched before heading to the bathroom. "Alright blood boy, I'm gonna shower before I melt in here. Can you go pick up some food?"

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"Doesn't matter."

He raised a brow at that. That was a first. Castiel's absence was definitely taking its toll on Dean. "I'll be back in a minute."

Dean just nodded and closed the bathroom door behind him. He sighed again and turned the shower on. "Damn mini demons…" He mumbled. "What the hell is a mini demon anyway?" He asked rhetorically.

"They are an evolved type of species that aren't really demons, Dean. Your brother has a knack for naming these creatures." Castiel said answering Dean's questions.

The brunette turned to the bathroom sink and paused. He could have sworn that he heard someone call his name. "I have got to get some sleep…" Shaking his head he slid off his clothes and jumped into the shower.

Meanwhile, Castiel was sitting on the counter, watching Dean undress and prepare for his shower. He didn't find anything wrong- or awkward with following the Winchester into the bathroom. Castiel still didn't understand the meaning of personal space. Dean pressing his hand against the glass door gave Castiel an idea. The angel jumped down from the sink and moved over to the door. He suddenly slammed both of his hands to the glass.

Dean jumped and nearly slipped when the smacking noise echoed through the small room. "DAMNIT, SAMMY!" He shouted, assuming it was his brother trying to scare him.

Castiel narrowed his eyes as he wrote out his name for Dean to see.

"This isn't funny, Sam." Dean growled, forcing the door open. He froze when he came face to face with Castiel. "…Cas."


	2. Pure Imagination

**Summary**: Dean comes face to face with Castiel after all the time that has passed but he's concerned it isn't real because of his desire to have his friend back. Time will tell.

* * *

Dean swallowed thickly and closed his eyes for a moment. This was getting out of hand. He was starting to think maybe he should talk to someone like Sam suggested. "Okay. I need to relax. I'm just seeing things. That's all it is." He whispered to himself. When he opened his eyes Castiel was still standing there in front of him.

Castiel tilted his head slightly to the left and watched Dean talk to himself. '_Hello Dean_.'

"Cas? Please tell me that's really you?"

_'Yes._'

"I've been calling for you for months. Where the hell have you been, man?"

'_With you. I've been following you and your brother since my return. I am— unable to be seen. Dean I am sorry I have not answered your prayers but I have stuck by your side_.'

Dean reached out and placed a hesitant hand on Castiel's shoulder just to see if the angel was tangible. He felt him, Castiel really was there. He pulled his hand away quickly and frowned. What if he was a demon? What if this was a dream or a trick? Anything could be possible. Still, he watched as Castiel made that face he always did when he was confused. It was him. The hunter smiled before pulling Castiel into a tight hug, the water from his body staining the angel's trench coat. "I missed you, man. I'm glad to have you back, buddy!"

'_Dean, you have no clothing on. You're wet_.'

Dean didn't care. He had his angel back and that's all he wanted, that's all he prayed for. "So I did see you last night in the car, huh?"

Castiel nodded. '_Yes_.'

He broke the hug and ruffled the angel's hair. "Let me get dressed. We need to talk." He never thought he'd use that phrase in his life.

* * *

Dean exited the bathroom fully dressed in his usual blue jeans and a plain black T-shirt. He saw Castiel sitting on his bed and was relieved that he was still there. "So no one can see you? How come I can?"

'_You're pushing through to wherever I am and I am pushing back. You're making it easier for me to reach you_.'

"How do we get you back completely?"

'_I don't have the answer to that_.'

Dean smiled and took a seat next to Castiel and patted his shoulder. He was happy he was able to touch him. "I'm gonna get you back, man. Don't you worry, okay?"

Castiel looked at Dean and nodded. He believed him because Dean wouldn't lie to him. Looking away he smiled himself. It felt great to see Dean smile again, to see him light up with excitement. It had been a while since he was able to see that side of Dean. '_You mustn't tell your brother_.'

"And why the hell not? He should know."

'_Because it's best everyone remains thinking I'm in Purgatory. What's happening to me is unusual_.'

"This is Sammy we're talking about, Cas. He should know, he could help us figure out where you are. This kind of stuff is right up his alley."

'_I agree...but I don't think it is the time to tell him_.'

Dean sighed not too excited about keeping secrets from his brother. After all they had been through honesty had become their best friend. They didn't need any repeats from the past. "Alright, for now…but we tell him as soon as we find out something." He didn't want to lie to Sam. They were so close to having complete trust between the both of them and he didn't want to screw that up.

'_Of course_.' Castiel agreed. He just wanted to keep it between the both of them for the time being. It was crucial.

* * *

A few weeks went by and Dean still couldn't find anything to get Castiel back completely. With each case that went by, he juggled with the search and the hunt. Dean knew they needed to consult Sam since he was sure brainiac knew what to do but Castiel was against telling him still. He huffed and sat down the book he was looking through and glanced up at the window. "DAMN IT!" He shouted as he jumped, falling from his chair.

'_Hello, Dean_.'

Sam jumped up from the bed, scared out of his slumber. "WHAT'S WRONG?!" He shouted as he jolted up from the bed.

Dean sighed and glanced over at Castiel who was now sitting at the table. "Nothing, I'm fine."

Sam turned his attention to where Dean was looking. "Uh...okay." Dean had been acting strange lately and he was sure his brother was starting to talk to himself. He tried not to pry because he figured it was because of Castiel's absence. Then again, Dean seemed almost happier as of late. None of it made sense but he'd get to the bottom of it soon if it started to affect their cases or their safety.

Dean regained his composure and focused on the angel across from him. He wished Sam wasn't in the room so he could yell at the angel for scaring the living daylight out of him. So he settled for a fixed glare.

Castiel simply stared at Dean.

Sam decided to stay awake since his brother's unexplained shout snapped him out of his sleep. There was no point in returning to bed anyway. "You hungry?" He asked.

Dean shrugged his shoulders. He hadn't really had much of an appetite since he spent most of his free time researching. He now understood how it felt to be Sam. "Eh."

"I'm going out for some breakfast."

"Bring some pie back with you."

"Sure, Mr. Eh." He slipped on his shoes before heading into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Are you out of your mind?" He whispered, planting a firm hand on the wooden table.

Castiel's eyes squinted. '_I don't understand, Dean_.'

"You can't just pop up like that, dude. I didn't like it when you were…when you were you know, touchable. So it's not okay now." He sighed and picked back up the old book trying not to smile. He missed it; he missed Castiel just appearing out of nowhere. He missed Castiel.

Castiel tilted his head because Dean was staring at him. It was funny because Dean didn't even realize that he was doing it. '_Dean_?'

"Yeah?" He answered softly, affection in his tone.

"Dean?"

"I said yeah?"

"What?" Sam narrowed his eyes. "You okay, man?"

Dean turned his attention to his brother who was standing in the bathroom doorway. "What?"

"Well… you're staring at that chair like you love it."

Castiel blinked.

Dean laughed awkwardly and made a shooing gesture. "Go brush your teeth."

Sam returned to the bathroom and Dean _attempted _to glare at Castiel but that didn't pan out like he intended. "That was a close one, are you trying to make him ask questions? He already thinks I'm crazy and that I'm talking to myself."

'_I understand how he would think that. I am not visible, Dean. You are technically speaking with a chair in his eyes.'_

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. "No shit, Sherlock. Thanks for stating the obvious. I need you to be less…I dunno let's say, creepy." He tried to frown again but all he produced were grins and smiles. Dean was happier than he expressed to Castiel about his reappearance. He was giddy and wanted to tell everyone about it but no one could see him.

Castiel nodded. '_I apologize_.'

"Don't." He smiled and flipped the page in his book. "I don't mind…"

"You don't mind what?"

"What?"

Sam stared at him again. "This is getting weird."

"Yeah, you are." He closed the book and stood from the chair and stretched. "I think we'll- I'll tag alone."

Sam just nodded with a strange expression on his face. "Yeah uh- sure, okay that's cool." Yeah, there was definitely something going on with his brother and he planned on finding out before the day was over with.


End file.
